LETTERS FROM FRIENDS (page 10)
We get a lot of letters from folks, but
these are a few letters
which may help you understand what people go through.
MY MOM HAS JUST BEEN TOLD THAT SHE HAS EYE CANCER I CARNT REMEMBER NAME APPARENTLY IT EATS AWAY LIKE A MOLE OVER TIME SHE HAS HAD IT ABOUT 2 YEARS HER UNDER EYE IS DROPING DOWN WITH IT SHE IS BOOKED IN TO HAVE SURGERY ONE DAY AND THE NEXT SHE IS HAVING SKIN GRAFTS TO BUILD UP WHAT THEY HAVE CUT AWAY SHE IS VERY SCARED AND SO AM I
My niece had surgery to remove her eye on February 12. She has not accepted her fate and is having a really hard time with the fact that she sees herself as some kind of freak and feeling very sorry for herself. In short, she is in bad shape. She had the surgery at the Johns Hopkins Hospital Wilmer Eye Clinic. Is there a support group in the US Maryland area? I don't know what else to do for her. She cries all the time and I know this will continue to affect her quality of life. Can you recommend something I can do for her. I bought her the book A Singular View and all the material I could find on the web but nothing seems to help. She is 27 years old and feels her life is over. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
Fran
Jay
I have been glancing at your web site today and think it has some great information for those people who are about to have the enucleation surgery.
I had a horrible experience as far as no knowing what to expect ( and I have had 7 surgery's since I was 9 years old) I will write a letter for all of your readers at a later date, my reason for contacting you is to ask if you know of any Canadian or specifically Toronto based support groups?
I believe you should contact some of the Canadian Ocularists the most notable would be Michael Webb in Toronto I have a phone number but no web address.
416 921 4931.
I am glad I found this sight and I will write soon.
Brad
Thanks for a great site. I have only read a few pages but will certainly read the rest soon. A couple of the things I read really hit home. The part about not needing a support group if you've already had your eye out except for how you think people perceive you is the biggy for me. I had my eye out in 1994 and most days it's not a big deal. I'm having surgery in a couple of weeks to reposition and have a skin graft done on my hydroxyapatite implant. I can deal with it, but it's the thought of having to leave my eye out for 4-6 weeks while it heals. I got fitted for a contact for my "good" eye so I can wear sunglasses instead of a patch. Dumb idea?? I would love your opinion.
Thanks and keep up the good work!
Joan
I'm very glad you have had so little problem adjusting to the loss of your
eye. It has not been as easy for me. Sammy Davis may have done it in two weeks,
but for me it's been five very difficult weeks. I am not a complainer, rather
I figure that as this is what I have to live with for the rest of my life,
I'll just get on with it. Even a number of greeting cards I received had hand-written
notes saying, in effect, that if anyone can adapt to this,
I'll be able to do it in fine fashion. But it is the most difficult challenge
I have ever encountered.
One reason is that where I live (Ohio), no one, not doctors, rehab or therapy facilities, has any idea how to guide a person through the adjustment process. If I were blind, they would put braille labels throughout my home and teach me to walk with a white cane, but since I still have vision in the other eye, they don't have a thing to offer. They all said, "You'll get used to it eventually." Finally, a nurse at a retina specialist's office suggested an optical practice that works with vision training. I had a consultation today and learned a lot of techniques that will be helpful, not only to "do" better, but also to help keep me safe. She also said to expect the process to take about a year. The lady could empathize with me as she also has lost an eye. She thinks she may be the only one in the state who does what she does. She also said that several doctors, including that specialist, refer patients to their practice, even though he had told me earlier nothing was available.
Even living with my husband's loss of one eye 45 years ago did not begin to prepare me for my own loss. His was gradual (over a year or two), while mine was sudden. I watched him struggle to cope and regain skills, but he says you never get good depth perception back. As a farmer he has learned to back a truck or wagon into a barn, keep the combine on the row, and changed his "shooting eye" and can still hit a varmint ground hog from 50 yards. But it has not been easy for him, either.
So the bottom line is...speak for yourself, but be careful about being too optimistic where other people's situation may not work out as quickly or easily as your own. They might get discouraged if it doesn't go as well for them.
Thanks for the web site - I'll check it for new information every once in a while.
I can't remember where I read this tip about adjusting auto mirrors, but I followed the tip and it works very well.
Most people adjust their outside rear view mirrors so that they can see the area that is most directly behind them. When this is done, there is some duplication of the rear view that's shown by the interior rear view mirror. It's possible to eliminate some of this redundancy and also, most importantly, to eliminate the blind spots.
This can be done by merely adjusting the outside rear view mirrors more outwardly. Check the inside and outside mirrors during the adjustment to see the improvement in visibility.
Thank you for your website!!
I am a 28 year old woman. I lost my left eye when I was 16 due to a gunshot wound. At that time, I was very depressed. I felt like I would never be able to do the things I did before or that no one would ever want to be with me. When I got my artificial eye it was a turning point for me. It looks so natural and my muscles were not damaged so it moves......its just a little slower than my good eye. I am still at times self-conscious about my eye, but overall my life is as normal as anyone with 2 good eyes. All I can say is that you get use to it with time. I have no problem driving or parking......I just use my mirrors a lot and take extra care when changing lanes. I still do run into people sometimes when I'm walking.......but its not a big deal.
Most people never know that I have a artificial eye at all. In fact, a lot of people don't believe me when I tell them.
For anyone who is going through the pain of losing an eye......be strong it does get better. .
