Hello , I am asking for information , advice and support for my husband . He is to have his eye removed next Wednesday 26th march . He has a squamous cell carcinoma that has spread into the bone and surrounding tissue . The reading I have done so far gives advice to people on how to cope with a prosthetic eye , he however will not be able to have a prosthesis . He is very apprehensive about the surgery and how it will look and feel afterwards . My husband's name is Laurie , he is 61 and we live in Australia . Any help would be gratefully received along with any tips on how to keep his spirits up until the surgery . Thank you .

Welcome to the forum, I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers! I had my right eye Enucleated a year ago, But not for the same reason, However I have a good friend where I live who had his eye removed because of a canerious tumor, he'n not able to wear a prosthesis either. what he did was had his eye doctor make him a special pair of glasses that blocked out the veiw from his socket. he just looks like he's wearing sun glasses. he feels better knowing people can't see it, and he said he feels "cool' he's in his 60's as well. Keep us posted. Kendra

You came to the right place for support, but at a time like this I think you need some Real Live support, too.

I hope your husband has a professional to talk to about all this, and I advise you to get yourself all the help you need, too. You are probably just as overwhelmed as he is. Get a therapist, psychiatrist, social worker, whatever there is available to you and work out all the emotions you are having. It cannot be easy.

Lastly, I promise you, it will all be okay in the end. It just has to be.

It was okay for us and I swear I could not see it would be. I wanted to take my little girl and run down the highway, away from all the crazy doctors who wanted to violate her this way. But now we're like old pros around here, typing away advice to people like yourself. This'll be you a year from now. I promise.

PS Your situation is indeed quite unique, but we did meet a couple at the ocularist who had a special prosthesis that filled in the man's eye, socket, eyebrow and everything. It didn't blink of course, but it sure looked real. Most importantly, the couple was laughing and smiling at us, very relaxed and clearly not traumatized by any of it.

Welcome Laurie's Wife and Laurie,

Glad you found us and are here introducing yourself and asking questions. We have a good sized crew of members in Australia, you may have a member nearby. Sounds like even though your Hubby may not be able to wear a traditional prosthetic that there are other options out there, don't give up hope! Both prosthetic solutions that Kendra and ZDN mentioned sound very cool.

Have you considered patches? Some love them and some detest them but you never know until you try. While I've not worked with her personally several members rave about Deb's Ultrasuede eye patches at http://www.eyepatchstore.com/

We will be thinking of you both as the surgery date approaches. I'm going to agree with ZDN that finding someone to talk with can really help you cope with the changes that are coming up.

Welcome aboard.

Karen

Hi Laurie,
Welcome to our site, and as you are sure to find very soon, there are many here who are open to lend advice and support, and some love too. It hurts me so to hear of Lauries ruthless desease and the toll it's going to take. There is a post just a few weeks old that described a similar situation and the Occularist who constructed an amazing prostetic that was in part attached to a pair of scrip glasses. It was astoundingly realistic and lifelike. I will try and find it... I think Happy-Sad had come across it and posted it. Does anyone remember better than I? It's here someplace. Best of luck, God bless, and keep in touch with us.
Mark

Hi again,
I t was posted by Hennie and can be found in the Mooloh Lounge, heading 'Amazing Eye Glasses"
Mark

Hi and I'm glad u found us all here. I live in Melbourne .. I lost my left eye to melanoma 15 years ago; and I have a prosthetic eye. I'm so sorry to hear about Laurie and what you and the family must be going through; here on the site there is another girl who lost eye and surrounds and could not get her eye replaced; I will check into archives and get back to you. What hospital are you going to? Please PM me at any time if you need to chat; my thoughts and prayers are with you and Laurie; Take care; Vera

Hello and welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear about Laurie's prognosis and hope he will be able to get through it gracefully. This forum is great for support and information and sharing similar life experiences.
Living with a disfigurement is hard, and will be very hard in the beginning, but there are a number of options that can help him cope with living without an eye and without the option for a prosthesis. There's sunglasses, which I wear at all times, but some people find uncomfortable. There are patches (http://www.eye-grafx.com is an awesome site with original patches), the glasses previously mentioned which helped a man in a similar situation to your husband. Basically, there are options. None of them will fix the problem, or change the reality of his loss, but they will help him transition easier to living with one eye.
I wish you all the best and will keep you in my thoughts on his surgery date.

Hi and welcome.

I'm sorry for what your husband is going through. He is lucky to have you for support.

I think I can relate to his situation. This past December, ( wow 3 months already!) I had my left eye ,all of the tissue in the socket , both upper and lower lids and some of the bone near my nose removed because of skin cancer. It has been an adjustment, but not as bad as I thought. This group helps a lot. So does talking to a professional. It helped me anyway.

Unlike some of the other types of prosthetics, I didn't have anything put in the socket shortly after the removal to stop shrinkage. I don't think shrinkage matters when all of the tissue and the eye lids are gone. I think this is why the the other types of prosthetics are not an option for me - nothing to hold the eye fake eye ball in place. Instead, I have to wait until the skin grows back inside my socket completely before they can start the process. I'm about 3/4 of the way there. Even with all of the tissue gone, my doc said I would be a candidate for an anaplastic prosthesis. Perhaps this may be an option for your husband too. It never hurts to do research and ask for a second opinion.

In case you want an idea of what post-op will be like when everything is removed, here is a quick run down of my post-op experience so far:
Week 1 - Really tight pressure bandage wrapped around my head. I had some pain, but pain meds helped a lot. I spent most of the week asleep. I recommend sleeping sitting up for the first few weeks, it helps alleviate swelling. The left side of my face, part of my forehead and part of my lip were totally numb because of the nerves they had to cut during reconstruction. Doctor said it could take up to 6 months for all of the feeling to return. Some swelling and bruising, Also had to eat very soft food because of numbness in my mouth.

Week 2 - Week 10 -After the pressure bandage was removed, the doctor required me to pack the orbit with a special medical packing material called xeroform. It keeps the area sterile and moist to promote the growth of new skin. I also had to keep it covered with a stick on eye patch. Every two days I had to change the dressing. First, removing the old stuff, then rinsing out the socket with a sterile saline solution using a plastic syringe. Doctor had us go to a cooking store and buy a syringe for basting ! He said those work the best. At first my husband did this whole process for me. I could not look at it. I talk about this in another post. Forehead and nose still pretty numb, but around week 8 feeling in my teeth returned. Yea! I could eat crunchy food again!!!!!

Week 11- Doctor said to stop using the xeroform because there is now enough new skin. Still rinsing the socket with saline each night and using a q-tip to put antibiotic ointment all over. Now covering socket with non stick dressing in addition to the stick on patch.

Week twelve- This week! - Skin is still growing back and the socket hole is about half the size it was compare to week 1. All of the nerves around my face are growing back and its feels itchy and tingly. (very annoying but not painful). Still wearing a stick on flesh colored eye patch. I prefer this "medical looking" patch to the other type of patch. As others have said, when it comes to wearing a patch, its all about personal preference. I'm also going shopping for new glasses this week to better protect the socket and my good eye.

This summer, I should be able to start the next phase of getting a prosthesis. Although I wont be able to have the cool type of prosthesis that moves and looks very close to a real eye, my doctor did say I would be able to have something that would restore some normalcy to my face. It is called an anaplastic prosthesis. It is made with silicone and fits into the socket ( with glue I think). It kind of reminds me of something you might see in the the props department of a movie set! I'm not sure if others on this site have anything like this. When I get more info from my doctor, I'll post a topic about it. Here is an example. http://www.anaplastics.com/Orbital-Eyes.html Just to be clear, I do not know anything about this specific company. I'm just using it as an example of the possibilities that are out there. Its definitely not a perfect solution, but to me its better than nothing. As fairie16 said so well in her post, there are options out there and although they wont fix the problem, they will help the transition.

So, so sorry this post was so long, but I hope it helps. Wishing you both the best.

I would just like to thank everyone for their encouragement , advice and support . Thank you to library cat for your detailed description of what to expect , not exactly cheerful news . I had to lock myself in the bathroom and have a secret melt down and mini hysterics after reading that one . At least I am more prepared for what to expect and that should make me stronger . Tension is mounting as the surgery comes closer but we have Easter to distract us and our children and grandchildren will be visiting . Anyone would think it was me this was happening to but I am passing your good wishes on to Laurie and he appreciates you all . I am sure when the surgery is over he will take a more active part in your forums , for now he is just trying to prepare himself for what lies ahead . Everyone has to come to terms with things in their own way and in their own time . Thank you again .

oh geez,

I'm sorry I freaked you out with the detailed description. That was not my intent at all.

Again, I'm really sorry it upset you. I had hoped the description would be useful since most of the other posts just talk about the eye ball removal and recovery, not the more extensive type of removal and reconstruction.

The human body is an amazing thing. It is wonderful how the body and the brain work together to heal. This road will be tough for you and your husband, but together I'm sure you will both get through this.

I hope the surgery goes smoothly.

howre things going now? almost 2 weeks later.

DEAR LAURIE,
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT HOW I WOULD LOOK AFTER MY SURGERY. MY SURGERY WAS ON DECEMBER 14, 2007. I HAD TO GO BACK TO THE DOCTORS ON THE 18TH ANS HE GAVE ME A TEMPORARY PROSTHESIS. IT LOOKED FINE, BUT THE PERMANENT IS BEAUTIFUL AND PEOPLE CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT ISN'T MY EYE. SO THERE IS HOPE, YOU WILL LOOK HANDSOME AND YOUR WIFE WILL BE PROUD OF YOU. KEEP YOUR CHIN UP. CGIRL

Hi Everyone,
I'm with Rukus, has anyone heard of Laurie at all..... about three weeks now.
Hope all is going as well as it can. You are in my prayers.
Mark

Hi Rukus/Mark; debbie (Laurie's wife)posted an update; thread; Laurie Can Wink; cheers Vera