Not all ocularists are created equal. Have Gayle express her concerns to the ocularist and ask for adjustments to the areas where she has concerns.
No person is going to be able to create what God created, as we all know here. Getting it as close as possible is the goal. There are techniques that should reveal if the pupil is in the right place by shining a light from beneath and the reflection should reveal the correct pupil placement, ask the ocularist to show you how he is ensuring that. Also the prosthesis may often look different in different lighting.
I usually spend a lot of time in the mirror the first fiew days, it can take a few weeks to adapt to the new eye and the look, but if after a month, if she still has serious concerns, it may be necessary to return for further ajdustments.
If she still feels very strongly, maybe another ocularist can offer a different approach and skill set. I have never had two eyes look the same, nor even close. Not even from the same person.
Let's look at this another way. If Gayle were having a custom made dress done, how would she approach that? Woud she walk out of there settling for a dart in the wrong place? Heck no! She'd tell the seamstress how she felt.
We are not victims here, we should feel as though we can tell our ocularists that we aren't satisfied with the way the pupil is placed, the size, or where it is looking if it isn't what we think it should be. If one leg of a pair of pants was too short or a different color, we certainly wouldn't just settle for that - would we? Why in heaven's name, do we do that with our eyes?
Because we feel like we "have" to, but we don't. Our self esteem is a bit on the fragile side sometimes but we just have to be better advocates for ourselves and our families, partners and friends can help to help advocate for us when we are feeling vulnerable. This is a very delicate process, maybe moreso for the women who's eyes are the windows to our souls - as we've read in all those girly novels. Now one of our windows has mylar on it.
Bob, may I suggest you ask Gayle for permission to advocate for her with the ocularist and express her concerns if she lacks the strength right now? If I recall correctly, Gayle is also dealing with the loss of an eye and the result of the surgery not just a new prosthesis.
I have to share that my husband called my ocularist to express how disappointed I was without telling me. I later found out when I was so depressed that none of my family could stand me any more. I am an advocate for others in my work but had a hard time mustering up the energy to advocate for myself. After he did that, I was transformed and really stepped up to the plate advocating for myself. I felt like I wasn't alone in this process and it energized me.
I hope that this is helpful... I know that I rambled.